


A Blues Brothers Christmas

by Mrs_Mojo_Risin_Blues



Series: Blues Brothers [2]
Category: Blues Brothers (Movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-11 23:03:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9038945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_Mojo_Risin_Blues/pseuds/Mrs_Mojo_Risin_Blues
Summary: Part of the Everybody Needs Somebody series.Jake, Elwood, and Maria visit the orphanage for christmas at the request of The Penguin.





	

Maria Valens was woken up by a sudden chill down her spine. The air around her had dropped in temperature and not even her blankets could warm her up. She got up from her bed groggily to turn the heater up, when she noticed tiny shadows falling behind her curtain. After turning up the heater, she pulled aside her curtains and saw her hometown of Calumet City, Illinois gently being blanketed with snow. Maria smiled in delight upon seeing the winter wonderland.

_This truly is the most wonderful time of the year!_

She made her way towards her calendar and crossed off the day December 21st and circled December 22nd. 3 more days until Christmas1 She thought happily Thank god I already got Jake and Elwood's presents. She gently tapped the wrapped gifts further underneath the bed with her feet before snuggling under the covers agin, comforted by the holiday spirit.

_I wonder how my first Christmas with Jake and Elwood is gonna turn out..._

* * *

 

"Jake...Jake!"

The older Blues Brother rolled on his side to face away from his younger brother, who continued to pester him.

“Jake, wake up!”

"What?" he groaned.

"We need to go shopping today” Elwood proclaimed as he began to tie his tie in front of a mirror. “I still need a gift for Maria."

“Why didn’t you get her something sooner?” Jake complained

“Because I couldn’t find anything good.” Elwood replied “C’mon Jake, it won’t be long”

Jake sat up from his bed, his black hair a mess with bedhead, and yawned "Okay okay, We'll go. Only because I need to pick her gift out too."

After The Blues Brothers got dressed in their usual attire, they headed to the hotel lobby where they found Maria reading an issue of Rolling Stone magazine as she was drinking her morning coffee.

“Good morning" Elwood greeted sweetly to his girlfriend. She looked up and smiled at him as she received his kiss.

“Morning, boys" The brothers got themselves breakfast before sitting down, Jake with a tower of pancakes, while Elwood remained with only a piece of dry white toast on his plate.

"Today I'm thinking about dropping by the orphanage just to say hi & Merry Christmas" Maria told the guys.

Jake looked at her alarmingly “Wait, we don't have to come, do we?" 

Maria shrugged "Not if you don't want to."

"Well, Jake and I have stuff to do anyway. We need to get presents for the band" Elwood half lied. The truth was that Elwood and Jake already gave everyone else their presents, they just haven’t found the right ones for Maria.

“Ok” she responded as she continued to drank her coffee.

After their breakfast, the group went their separate ways. Jake and Elwood took the bluesmobile while Maria hailed a taxi. The taxi dropped her off and she headed towards St. Helens. She opened the door & approached The Penguin's office up the creaky steps with the creepy crucifix and knocked three times.

"Who is it?"

"Maria Valens"

"Come in"

Maria opened the door and let herself in the tiny office where she found Sister Mary putting up a decoration of the Nativity scene. The old nun smiled and hugged Maria tightly "It's always nice to see you, dear."

Maria smiled and sat down in front of the Sister’s desk in the tiny school desk “Nice to see you too. I came by to wish you and the staff a Merry Christmas"

"God bless you dear, and a merry Christmas to you too" Sister Mary replied kindly.

"How have things at the orphanage been?" Maria asked curiously

"The children were so happy when they learned they weren't going to be moved. It would’ve been hard on them if the place had shut down" "I can imagine, but I'm glad things are going well, especially around the holidays"

"Talking about the holidays" Sister Mary said as-a-matter-of-factly "We're having a celebration for the children on Christmas eve and I want you, Jacob and Elwood to come and sing to the children."

Maria blinked once, surprised by The Penguin's request "Well uh...I would like to, but I don't know about the guys. You know how they can be.“

Sister Mary frowned “Well, when you see them, tell them they must come and that Curtis just wanted to see them again"

Maria remembered her boyfriend telling her about he and Jake’s father figure Curtis, the friendly janitor who taught them the way of the blues. He was the man who pretty much made Jake and Elwood into the men she knew of today.

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair “Alright, I'll tell them"

_I’m gonna have to find a way to just drop the ball on them…i know they won’t take this lightly…_

* * *

 

 Meanwhile while circling around downtown, the brothers were looking around the many tiny shops for a proper present for their guitarist. They aimlessly wondered around, not really impressed with anything they saw, until Elwood passed by a certain object that caught his attention at a display window. On display was a beautiful sleek watch with diamonds encrusted into the watch where the numbers would usually go.

"I think I might get that for her" he said to Jake as he pointed at it.

Jake just shrugged his shoulders upon giving it a glance “It’s nice, I guess.”

As Elwood left to talk to the cashier about the watch, Jake wondered off from the sore to enter a drugstore.

_What do I get a chick for Christmas? Fuck it, i’ll just get her some cigarettes or something_

He looked up and down the aisles when he spotted the 'Feminine products' aisle. Jake smiled slyly and brainstormed for an idea as he approached it and chose his gag present of choice and concealed it secretly in his coat pocket. Jake later found his real gift to her and met Elwood at the cash register. The brothers arrived back home where they found Maria approach her room.

“Hello boys” she greeted kindly “How did it go getting presents for the rest of the band?”

“Fine” Elwood replied "Thank god we are officially done with Christmas shopping. How was it at the orphanage?”

Maria paused and said nothing as she looked down at her feet. The brothers caught onto her behavior and began to get suspicious.

“What happened?” Elwood asked her

She sighed and looked up at him “You want the truth, or do you want me to take the liberty of bullshitting you?”

“Just spill the beans” Jake mumbled annoyingly

“Well” Maria began “Sister Mary told me to tell you that she wants us to go to the orphanage on Christmas eve to sing to the kids"

Jake turned to her and pointed a finger at her “No…fucking…way”

“I knew you’d say that” she replied coyly “That’s why she also said Curtis wants to see you guys"

At the mention of their father figures name, Jake and Elwood glanced at each other happily. They had missed their old father figure for a while now, and they havent seen him in forever.

“Maybe we can just stop by, sing a song or two, talk to Curtis and get out” Elwood thought as he gave a shrug.

Jake let out a tired sigh “Okay we'll go…but only because Curtis! I don't give a shit about those brats."

Maria laughed at his brutal honesty.

* * *

 

On Christmas eve evening, The Blues Brothers and Maria arrived at the orphanage and was let inside. The whole inside of the building was a lot different than what it normally looked like as the dreary atmosphere was temporarily replaced with nicely decorated wreaths, Children’s Christmas drawings and some cranberry and popcorn strings. The smell of gingerbread and eggnog filled the air as they approached the main room, and found Sister Mary cleaning up. She spotted the group of musicians and approached them.

"Hello you three, nice for you to come. The children are outside playing in the snow, they should be in shortly."

"Jake, Elwood! You actually made it” The brothers turned at the sound of their names being called and found Curtis himself standing on the threshold. They approached him happily and chatted for a bit with him, until Curtis noticed Maria, who smiled and remained quiet to let the brothers give their hellos.

"And who is this young lady?"

Elwood approached her, took her hand, and lead her to Curtis.

"Maria this is Curtis, the only man that I could ever call a father.”

The old man gave Elwood a humbling smile

“Curtis, Maria here is the guitarist in the band…and she’s my girlfriend”

Maria and Curtis shook each other's hands “Nice to meet you, sir. Thank you for influencing these two men to become the best musicians I’ve performed with”

Out of the corner of her eyes, Maria saw The Penguin approach the group "Jacob" The penguin began “I beg your pardon for interrupting, but I must ask for a favor from you“

She took him aside away from Curtis, Elwood, and Maria, who continued to chat.

"What is it?" he asked her uneasily 

"You see" she trailed off “The children have been asking me about Santa Claus visiting, and I couldn’t bring myself to refuse their offer, especially after the year they had”

“Okay…so?” Jake replied with a shrug

“So…i want to ask if you could maybe get the suit…and…”

Jake caught her drift and shook his head. “Oh No...no no no no no! There is no way in hell I am dressing in a bright red suit!"

Sister Mary gave him an angry look and smacked him with her trusty ruler "AHH!"

"You dare run your mouth on Christmas eve? Shame on you boy!" she scolded

She smacked him again multiple times, making Maria point and laugh at him, until he gave in. "Okay fine! I'll dress up!" he argued, feeling defeated "Where is the costume?"

"In Curtis' room"

The Penguin said sternly with her arms crossed. Jake made a face and walked down the stairs to the basement where Curtis' room is.

“Hey Jake!” Maria called to him.

Jake turned his head and gave her a nasty look “What do you want?”

Maria turned around, away from Sister Mary's sight, and sneakily gave him a flask. “Consider this an early Christmas gift from me to you.”

Jake took it and gave Maria an approving nod.

“Thanks”

* * *

 

"Elwood, Maria” Sister Mary addressed the remaining musicians “Since Jacob is playing the role of Santa Claus, you two provide the music to sing to the children."

"What songs do we do?" Elwood asked

"The regular carols? Hymns?” 

"How about this..." Curtis offered "You two sing a duet, and then you two sing separate sings on your own? I'll be on the piano." "I think that sounds ok" Maria responded

"So what songs do we do?" Elwood asked

"I wanna do 'The Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth' It's a beautiful duet and I think we can pull it off." Maria told him with a smile “I’ll sing David Bowie, you sing Bing Crosby”

"Hmmm.." Elwood though aloud “Speaking of Bing…maybe I can do...White Christmas?"

"Sure!" Maria encouraged

"Alright, I'm bringing in the children. inside” Sister Mary told them "Get ready and tell Jacob to come downstairs"

"I'll get him." Elwood said as he went down the basement.

Maria went into the main room to help Curtis set up the music and refreshments. Meanwhile, Elwood arrived at the basement and found his older brother in a red suit, fake white beard and a red hat. Elwood refrained from laughing

"Why me, huh?" Jake complained as he looked at his reflection with much displeasure "Why did she choose me to be Santa? Because I'm fat?"

"You're not fat." Elwood replied “Its just…I can’t pull it off as well as you do.”

"Just because I'm not a twig like you doesn’t mean I'm unfit.” Jake argued “I just...don't like running and like a little extra food. Is that a crime?"

"Look man, you gotta get up there. The Penguin said so."

Jake looked at himself once more in the mirror and drank from the flask Maria gave him

“I hate this holiday"

* * *

 

Elwood came into the main room and found a big group of the orphan children gathered around the fire, a few of them talking to Maria and Curtis while the others played a few toys. Upon seeing Sister Mary, he gave her a thumbs up, signaling to her that Jake was ready. The nun understood his signal and gathered in front of the children.

"Alright Children, I have a surprise for you! Let’s give a nice warm welcome to Santa Claus!"

"Ho ho ho!" Jake exclaimed, trying to disguise his voice.

He entered the room with a huge sack of presents and the children go nuts. Maria turned her back away from Jake and tried her absolute best from laughing out loud and blowing his cover.

"What a sight for sore eyes" Curtis retorted cheekily, making Elwood smirk as he crossed his arms.

Santa Jake sat on a huge chair and opened up the sack.

"Now lets see what all you...kids are gonna get!” Jake slurred a bit “Im only giving one present per kid because its not Christmas yet. Its Christmas eve and...I'll…uh…drop off the rest after you sleep." Jake said to them as he handed out the gifts.

 _Nice improvisation, Jake_ Maria thought to herself.

One by one Jake gave all the gifts in the bag to the children, making all of them smile and giving him the biggest hugs.

“Awwww!” Maria cooed.

She turned to Elwood “I kinda wanna see him with kids.”

Elwood shook his head “I don’t think thats a good idea.”

“Why not?!”

He glanced at her “Do you see yourself with kids?”

She remained silent, realizing his point.

* * *

 

Once Jake was finished, he went to the Eggnog bowl where he found his brother and Maria waiting for him with cheeky smiles on their faces.

“Don’t start“ he grumbled.

He poured himself some eggnog, took out the hidden flask, and poured some of its contents into the drink.

"Santa, what are you pouring into your eggnog?"

Jake looked alarmed at the sudden sound of of a little boy looking at him while noticing Sister Mary disapproving greatly with his beverage of choice.

"Uh.." he stammered, looking nervous and trying to improvise “It's uh...medicine! Yeah, uh...you see I have a cold going on and my doctor told me that eggnog with medicine will get rid of it!"

"Ohhh" the boy responded, in full understanding.

Elwood and Maria snickered and drank more of the eggnog.

"Hey Santa" Elwood joked to his brother as he held out his cup of eggnog “Can I have some medicine too?"

"Me too?" Maria asked.

Jake poured some vodka into their eggnogs and they all drank in silence.

* * *

 

After everyone was comfortable, either relaxing or letting the kids play, Curtis approached the piano, sat down and began skimming through some sheet music.

"Alright now, let's do some caroling"

"Who'll go first?" Elwood asked

"Let's do the duet first." Maria mumbled to Elwood "So we can get the religious songs out of the way first"

"Good idea"

"We decided to go with "Little drummer boy/Peace on earth" Maria told Curtis.

Curtis played the piano intro and right after, Elwood and Maria sang together

 

_Come they told me pa-rum-pum-pum-pum_

_A new-born king to see pa-rum-pum-pum-pum_

_Our finest gifts we bring pa-rum-pum-pum-pum Rum-pum-pum-pum, rum-pum-pum-pum_

 

Elwood sang the little Drummer boy part while Maria sang the Peace on Earth part of the song. The song was divided like that, but it sounded beautiful put together and with their voices, the whole song basically lit up the room.

 

_Peace on Earth, can it be (Come they told me pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)_

_Years from now, perhaps we'll see (A new-born king to see pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)_

_See the day of glory (Our finest gifts we bring pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)_

_To See the day, when men of good will (to lay before the king pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)_

_Live in peace, live in peace again (Rum-pum-pum-pum, rum-pum-pum-pum)_

 

_Peace on Earth, (so to honour him pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)_

_can it be (when we come)_

 

They sang in unison the bridge of the song

 

_Every child must be made aware; Every child must be made to care Care enough for his fellow man to give all the love that he can_

_I pray my wish will come true (Little baby pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)_

 

Maria made an awkward face and Jake snickered as she sang the next lyric

_For my child and your child too (I stood beside him there pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)_

 

She stopped with the face and had a peaceful smile as she sang and glanced at Elwood, loving the way he sang.

 

_He'll see the day of glory (I played my drum for him pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)_

 

She held his hand and rested her head on his shoulder as they sang and Elwood smiled at her as he sang.

 

_See the day when men of good will (I played my best for him pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)_

_Live in peace, live in peace again (Rum-pum-pum-pum, rum-pum-pum-pum)_

_Peace on Earth, (And he smiled at me pa-rum-pum-pum-pum)_

_can it be (me and my drum)_

_Can it be..._

 

The children all clapped in applause as the song concluded.

Elwood then began to sing in his deep voice that drove his girlfriend crazy.

 

_I'm dreaming of a white Christmas_

_Just like the ones I used to know_

_Where the treetops glisten, and children listen to hear sleigh bells in the snow_

 

Maria played a soft melodic acoustic guitar along with Curtis' piano as Elwood continued

 

_I'm dreaming of a white Christmas_

_With every Christmas card I write_

_May your days be merry and bright_

_And may all your Christmases be white_

 

 _Eat your heart out Bing Crosby_ Maria thought smugly

 

_I'm dreaming of a white Christmas with every Christmas card I write_

_May your days be merry and bright_

_And may all your Christmases be white_

* * *

An hour passed by and The children had to get ready for bed so they can wake up in the morning to find presents for them underneath the tree. Jake was getting dressed to his normal clothes in Curtis' basement while Curtis, Elwood and Maria helped clean the main room and put the remaining presents under the tree.

"Thank you very much for what you three did tonight" Sister Mary said with a smile "This year was hard on them and at least this year can end happily"

"Well uh" Elwood began "We couldn't say no to you. Besides, some of my happiest memories from my childhood here involved Christmastime"

"Oh yes, mine too" Maria agreed.

Jake stepped up in his normal clothes and adjusted his hat "Okay, we gotta go now"

"Oh, before you three leave, I have some things for you." Sister Mary said as she scuttled her way to a different room.

"She's giving us presents?" Maria wondered out loud.

"Weird..." Elwood mumbled

Sister Mary returned to the trio with two bibles and a cherry red rosary "Maria, the rosary is for you."

"Oh thank you." she said kindly as she took the rosary and put it on.

It matched her sweater and lipstick nicely.

"As for you two gentlemen, I give you these bibles to remind you of God's ways and how you must obey what he says no matter what."

Elwood and Jake looked at their first Christmas presents of the year

"Thanks" Elwood said in monotone. "We gotta go now so...we'll see ya. Merry Christmas"

"Merry Christmas" she called out as they stepped outside the orphanage and into the cold and chilly air and inside the bluesmobile.

* * *

When they arrived home, they decided to just give each other their presents instead of waiting for the next day. Maria got her presents for the guys and went inside their room, where she found some stockings with their names on them in fabric paint. She sat down on the edge of Elwood's bed with their presents beside her.

"Okay so who's first?" Maria asked

"I'll go first." Jake said.

He got a heavy green gift wrapped present beside him and gave it to Elwood. "Here ya go, man"

Elwood tore the paper and saw it was a music book that had the best harmonica players in Blues music and how to play like them and develop techniques. The title was called "Blues Harps: Legends, Lessons and Long-Lasting techniques" Elwood smiled a bit and gave Jake a 'man-hug'

"Thanks man. I like it"

"Now as for yours." Jake said to Maria "Look inside your stocking"

She peeked inside her stocking and gasped at what she saw. Jake had placed about 15 pregnancy tests in there and he seemed highly amused by that

"You asshole!"

She threw them at him and he started cracking up like crazy. Elwood turned dark red and hid his face in his hands.

"Hey, if I'm gonna be an uncle, I wanna know!" he retorted

"You mean that was my gift from you?" she asked in dismay

"Calm down, that's just a stocking stuffer!" Jake replied "Here's your real present..."

He gave her a red gift wrapped present and she took it from him slowly, growing suspicious over what it was. She tore the paper and saw it was a band T-shirt of The Rolling Stones and their "Exile on main Street" album cover.

"Huh...and it's my favorite album from them" she said to Jake

"You're welcome." he said

She rolled her eyes "Thank you Jake. I misjudged you."

"Yeah, you did"

"Okay my turn." Elwood said to them.

He handed Jake his present and he unwrapped it, revealing it was Playboy magazine.

"I can just get this at the store" Jake said disappointedly

"Look on the inside" Elwood told him

jake peeked inside and found a 2 year subscription to the magazine.

"Sweet, man! Thanks!" Jake said happily

Elwood turned to his girlfriend who smiled and batted her long lashes flirtily at him. He took out a medium sized box with a little white bow and gave it to her. She took it andgasped once she saw was was in the box.

"Oh wow!" she cooed. "It's beautiful! I love it! Thank you so much..."

She gave him a loving kiss on the cheek until Jake broke it up "Hey hey! Save that for under the mistletoe!"

"Shut up Jake" she said calmly as she smiled dreamily at Elwood. "Now it's my turn."

She got a blue gift wrapped box and gave it to Jake. He shook it and heard its contents rattle.

"What is it?"

"Open the damn box and you'll see!" she exclaimed

He tore the paper and opened the box to find...about 200 condoms. Elwood burst out laughing and Jake scooped some up with his hand.

"And you're pissed at me for giving you tests?" he asked in disbelief over his gift.

"Hey, I gave those to you because I care about your health" she said, being a smartass "besides, if Elwood is gonna be an uncle...we would wanna know."

Elwood continued laughing as Jake looked at his 200 small squares and shrugged "Well I am running out of these...mind as well keep them"

She sighed and rolled her eyes "Okay just so my conscience is clear, that was just a prank. Your real gift is this..."

She gave him a huge bottle of Jack Daniel’s that had a red bow decorated onto it.

"Aw nice!" he exclaimed "I think ill use this up by the end of the week!"

"I bet" she said in a low voice.

She turned to her boyfriend and felt joyous. She hoped he would like her first Christmas gift to him and gave him a box, similar in size to the one Elwood handed to her. He opened it and found a new watch as well.

This time however, it was a real authentic silver Rolex watch almost like what the celebrities wear.

"Oh wow!” he exclaimed"This is amazing!"

"Let's see how it looks." Maria said with a smile as she enjoyed seeing her boyfriend enjoy his gift.

Elwood took off his broken watch and replaced it with the Rolex. He turned his wrist gently, showing it off.

"I promise to be careful and not to break it."

She laughed and was about to receive his thank-you kiss, when Jake stopped them and raised a mistletoe between them

"Okay you can continue" he said

Maria chuckled and received Elwood's loving sweet kiss.

* * *

 

Later, Jake fell asleep so Elwood and Maria were gazing over the snowy Calumet City on their balcony on lawn chairs, and a huge comfy blanket was draped over them as they sipped hot chocolate.

"You know, this has been the best Christmas yet. " Maria said to him "Because I'm spending it with people I love."

"Yeah." he said kindly "This has been my first Christmas in 3 years that I'm not alone. Jake's free from prison and you're here. Nothings better than that."

They kissed and both lovers felt warm, despite the cold from outside, because of the happiness and love they shared on their first Christmas together.


End file.
